merch     
    


P. S. Burton
A reply to Midnight Musing


Day 1

I want to hate love. I want to forget it.
I want to kill it.

I smoked a pack or two today,
I disregarded my school work;
And I hooked-up with a stranger in
The bathroom of a coffee shop.

Day 2

I can't stand to look at myself in
Mirror. I can't stand to be around
People. The voice is to embedded
In my soul. I thought about cutting
Off my right ear, so it'll go away.

Day 6

I haven't slept for nearly six days,
I've just been bingeing again. I think
My anti-drug is doing drugs. I love feeling
Numb. Feelings used up and half way
Re-filled, I don't think I feel the same.

I should have never gotten so close. I
Should've just fucked him and left him
Like I was going to do, I got attached
I won't let that happen again
I hate this feeling.

Day 7

It's still here...it rests on me like a bug.
Clings and sucks everything out of me.
I hooked-up again, nameless pleasures,
In the backs of cars and dark ally's,
I release pain.

I've turned off my phone, I don't want
To talk to anyone, it's not worth it. I'd rather
Talk to my-self. To be by-myself, yet the dog is here.
He's my Friend, he's so lonely, so am I.
I hate myself. I hate everything about myself.
I want him here to see this pain.

Day 12

I think I'm ready to cry. I'm ready to
Let it all out. I turned my phone on
There were messages, about six. They're
From him, I listened to them, and
The voice was back in me...consuming me
Again. He wants to talk to me.

The cycle continues again. It's never
Really over. It never really leaves after
It's been in your system, it just eats away
At you and you just have to deal. Damnit!






 



|  © 2005  |
waiting line theory